As wonderful as being alive is, there are a couple of incidents that are as inexplicably painful as they are inevitable. Perhaps one of the worst of these events is the dreaded break up. When a relationship that we have put time, love and effort into comes to an end, it is completely natural to feel devastated, shocked and, of course, miserable. There is absolutely no way to avoid dealing with the suffering that accompanies this life changing decision, but the good news is that you will be much stronger once you’ve overcome it.
Of course, this time in your life will be challenging, but here are two essential tips you can use to ensure you get to the light at the end of tunnel swiftly and safely…
Do not communicate with your ex
The hours, days and weeks that follow a break up are an extremely difficult time. Chances are you feel abandoned and alone, plus you may have dozens of unanswered questions you’d like to throw at your ex in an attempt to make yourself feel better. A break up can feel all-consuming, to the point where you’re unable to think of anything else during the day and then end up dreaming about an ex at night.
Alternatively, you might have agreed to stay friends and so your attempts at immediate reconciliation may seem like a good idea. Alas, contacting your ex right after a break up is never a good idea. This is because you need time and space to heal, come to terms with and adapt to this new chapter in your life. In this time you will be vulnerable, as the only person who can make it better is refusing to do so. Their stance on the situation is unlikely to change so instead of clinging on to them and hope that everything will be as it was before, it’s time to break off any ties and move on by yourself.
Feel what you need to feel
Once you’ve made a promise to yourself to no longer contact your ex, it’s time to deal with your emotions. Scream, cry, get angry, lay on the floor weeping, eat several tubs of ice cream, talk to your friends, write about it: anything you need to do to stop the feelings from festering. There’s a good chance that this won’t make you feel better instantly, it may even take a few weeks if the break up was particularly bad, but over time the pain will ease.
Remember that allowing yourself to feel pain and talking about how much you are suffering are not signs of weakness; in fact these acts show great self-love and strength. As time passes you’ll find yourself forgetting about the break up for lengthier periods of time, you’ll start enjoying time by yourself again, you’ll wonder why on Earth you ever put up with some of your exes shenanigans and eventually, you will accept that your journey with them has come to an end.
When this finally happens, you will have experienced and gotten through one of the hardest times we must face alone in our lifetimes. You have suffered, but you have come out of the other side and you are ready for whatever comes you way.